I am coming down the last part of the downhill about to finish mile 11. The soreness was getting more noticeable now. With every strike of my foot, it reverberated up my body and with every stride, my plant became flatter. “It’s okay” I told myself. “You are going to finish and you are going to be a half-marathoner.” The confidence in my finishing had not waivered, the desire for some extra boost to keep my pace up was needed. The fight to keep myself moving towards my time goal was becoming harder and harder. The battle inside my brain to decide to walk versus run was raging.

I knew that there was a loud cheer squad up ahead cheering folks on as they started back up the final uphills of the race. I was excited for this, these are my people. I didn’t even know them, but I knew of them. They are people who get jazzed about any runner and give them all the energy they can. People who relish in seeing others succeed. But then came the plight of a back-of-the-pack runner, I round the corner only to find the cheer station closing up and the crowd gone. I felt my smile dull and my strides get heavier in that moment.

Trying something new can feel lonely. Going after an activity where you may be an outlier for certain reasons- in this case my body type – can feel even lonelier. In that moment I had a feeling of ‘where are my people?’. ‘I want people I can call my people‘. I wanted more. Maybe I had this desperation because of the way social media can work, where endless strangers can like and cheer you on via the web, but in real life… it is not the same. Real life is different. And what we crave in real life is different. Connection and community, I had a moment where I felt without.

After a few minutes of feeling sorry for myself, I looked around. I saw young, old, large, small, and people of all types doing what I was doing, digging deep and going to finish something big. These are also my people. We exchanged smiles, facial expressions, attaboys, and encouragement. These people were with me, in the trenches, putting themselves against this course. So on we went. And as the soreness and pain grew and as the difficultly increased, I heard familiar sounds. I heard my friend who signed up for this madness with me, her sister, my cousin, their partners, and then the screams of my kids, wife, and sister. Not only did I find my people, but I found my purpose cheering my through my last bit. Seeing my daughter holding up the ASL sign for I Love You, my son screaming in his goober way, and my wife who allowed me to realize this dream, I choked back some tears. I went on to finish. The following minutes, hours, and days were full of messages and check-ins from so many. I realized in those days that I have people, and we can never take them for granted. Those people existed in my real life and I am thankful for them.

I have been lucky enough to meet some incredibly wonderful people over the past year and a half as I work with Marathon Sports as an ambassador. In fact, a few of these are now those I fondly view as my people. They validate me, encourage me, and make me realize this crazy running journey I am on is actually within my reach. These goals are material and my ability to conquer them is very real!

I have also found added purpose, beyond those little smiling faces that cheer me on. I want to share with others the feeling that my friends, family, and fellow ambassadors have given to me. I want others to know how strong they are and how powerful they are. I want to make clear that they can achieve mighty goals and conquer lofty challenges. I want them to know they are seen and they are believed in. I want to be community for others.

I plan to continue documenting my own journey. I will continue to share the ups and downs but will have a renewed focus on building up those around me. We all deserve to realize our potential. We all deserve to have people, we all deserve to have a purpose, and we absolutely deserve to break the ceiling we have placed over us and our potential.

-Ben