weekly update – a better ben

Posted on July 6, 2020 by Ben Crosby

the power of routine and weekly reflections: 6/30 – 7/6

Change in weight (6/30/20 – 7/6/20): -2.4 LBS

Still trying to build those followers! Follow my blog and instagram @a_better_ben.

This week is a testament to the routine of my betterment journey. It has been around seven months and the weeks are melting together. The best part of this melting together is that the effort and the commitment is turning into a lifestyle. This lifestyle isn’t easy, and it is fraught with frustration and difficulty, but it is becoming more natural. I crossed another milestone this week and have lost over 40 pounds since December 1. 40.2 to be exact. It has take a month to lose 4 pounds since I posted 36 in 6, but despite that slow struggle, I am thankful for every ounce of the change. I feel a hell of a lot different than when I posted my first blog post months ago and I am in such a better emotional place from December 1, 2019.

So what happened over this past week that helped launch me over the 40 pounds lost mark? I think it is a little of everything. I actually didn’t have a week with as much exercise as usual, but I did have more movement. I took Wednesday PM through today off from work for some family time and a mental vacation. This did very good things for me. I got outside with my daughter, did more walks, and had a much lower stress level. Most days my intake was good, though we did have some celebrations with the holiday weekend.

I am not trying to cop out of coming up with a real detailed analysis of my success, but I am not 100% sure if any main action was the driving force in the successful week. I think much of it is because many of the changes I need to make have become internalized. I still can eat too much, but I am better about controlling it than I have been. I find my walks more therapeutic than a “necessary workout”. I also think the lack of stress did great things for me. I didn’t want to stress eat or get snacks out of boredom. So again, it was a little bit of everything.

I did fail at getting my run in this week. I have been trying to stay consistent with one per week, but between heat and time, it didn’t happen. I did feel great with one of my workouts this week where I absolutely crushed my PR in a 45 minute ride on the Peloton. What made it even better was I didn’t want to workout and figured I would just calmly work through an easy one. It shows the power of showing up. Sometimes all it takes is lacing up the shoes or getting yourself to the starting line. That is when your commitment and routine can carry you. I did both All for One Rides that Peloton offered this week. These were 2-45 minute rides that had sections with every instructor. Doing 2-45 minute rides this week was a step up for me and although my number of rides were not as high as usual, my minutes were. Last night also saw my 250th ride on the bike. We have had it for a little over a year and 2/3 of those rides have come since December 1. It is hard to put into words how thankful you can be for something that has become so central to your betterment journey, but I am that thankful.

This week we are trying to do better about our meal planning. Life has been very hectic and we have gotten away from it. We are starting off with some turkey meatballs with veggies and then some grilled chicken later on. I think a week of clean eating will do me good.

I cannot speak enough about the power of this routine. I have been sticking with the key strategies I talked about a couple months ago, and they are helping me continue on. Like I said earlier, it is not necessarily easier, but more manageable to try and impact the change I am seeking. I still have days where I want to sit on the couch and need to build up the will to exercise, but the months of effort make that easier knowing how great I will feel after and knowing the results of my commitment. Where I have noticed so much change is my awareness of what goes into my body. I still have times where I want and do eat too much, but I am acutely aware of those ramifications and cannot lie to myself. I know that this chocolate chip cookie has far more calories than I want to think it does. I know having 3 will equate to an average meal. These voices and understandings in my head carry a great deal of weight as I continue to make changes and good decisions.

How are you doing with your goals? Have you been needing some extra motivation? Do you find the difference by just ‘showing up’?

If you know anybody who you think might benefit from reading my blog, please share it with them. I would love to reach more people because the success I am currently experiencing comes after years of struggle and frustration that I know many others face. If I can help myself through this, wonderful. If I can help others, even better! I am here to cheer on your effort and work, to whatever goal you are aspiring towards.

Please leave a like or a comment!

How did I do on last weeks action plan?:

5 Cardio workouts. 1 45 min ride, 1 HIIT Ride, 1 Low Impact ride, 2 runs. Partially attained . 4 rides and no run
2 Strength Sessions (Tues/Sat) Not attained
Plan out my meals, stick to them, and portion snacks. Partially Attained.
2 additional outdoor activities. This can include walks with my daughter, disc golfing, skiing, etc. Attained
3 dedicated stretch sessions. 2 10-min lower body and 1 10 min full body (Mon/Wed/Fri). Not Attained
20-30 minute midday walk on work days. Attained
Track every bite. Attained
Drink 10 glasses of water per day. Attained
Find some quiet time to calm my thoughts and mind. 2 5-10 minute sessions. Attained

Action Plan

5 Cardio workouts. 1 45 min ride, 1 HIIT Ride, 1 Low Impact ride, 1 misc ride, 1 run.
2 Strength Sessions (Tues/Sat)
Plan out my meals, stick to them, and portion snacks
2 additional outdoor activities. This can include walks with my daughter, disc golfing, skiing, etc
3 dedicated stretch sessions. 2 10-min lower body and 1 10 min full body (Mon/Wed/Fri)
20-30 minute midday walk on work days
Track every bite
Drink 10 glasses of water per day
Find some quiet time to calm my thoughts and mind. 2 5-10 minute sessions

Please stay tuned for more updates. If you have been enjoying this, please become an email follower or a wordpress follower. Having this public audience has been a positive motivation for me to continue working towards my goals and so I really am thankful for all of you!

Date	Change in Weight
12/1*	–
12/2*	-5.4 lbs
12/9	-5.4 lbs
12/16	-3.4 lbs
12/23	+2.8 lbs
12/29	-1.2 lbs
1/6	-1.4 lbs
1/13	-1.6 lbs
1/20	-1.4 lbs
1/27	+0.4 lbs
2/3	-1.2 lbs
2/10	-4.6 lbs
2/17	+0.4 lbs
2/24	-1.6 lbs
3/2	-3.2 lbs
3/9	+1.8 lbs
3/16	-3.2 lbs
3/23	-0.6 lbs
3/30	+0.4 lbs
4/6	-1.6 lbs
4/13	+0.8 lbs
4/20	-1.8 lbs
4/27	0 lbs
5/4	+2.4 lbs
5/11	-5.2 lbs
5/18	0 lbs
5/25	-1.0 lbs
6/1	-1.2 lbs
6/8	-0.4 lbs
6/15	-0.8 lbs
6/22	+0.8 lbs
6/29	-1.4 lbs
7/6	-2.4 lbs

* I first weighed myself on a Sunday night and began the regular weigh-ins the following morning

-Ben

Posted on June 29, 2020 by Ben Crosby

exercise and weekly reflections: 6/23 – 6/29

Change in weight (6/23/20 –6/29/20): -1.4 LBS

If you haven’t yet, check out my instagram @a_better_ben. I’d love if you followed.

I worked my butt of this week, I had some back sliding, and then I worked even harder to overcome those back slides and I am super pumped to have gotten my weight back in the right direction. I feel that I really focussed this week on the reality of my intake and exercise, and didn’t make excuses for myself. I responded to and took responsibility for my decisions.

I am guilty. I moved our celebratory father’s day meal to Monday night so I could have it after my Monday weigh-in… So the week started with a bigger meal. My wife was awesome and surprised me with a Ninja Foodi as a gift. I have been getting sick of cooking lately and she was hoping this would make it easier on a nightly basis, but also inspire some other recipes that can be cooked in it. It worked. The problem is one of the first meals I made was a Mac and Cheese recipe with all the fat and all the calories. Let’s just say it was delicious and I was worthless for the rest of that night.

I continue to have around 5 great days and 2 bad days in the week. And it seems that those 2 bad days are enough to limit my success with my weight loss goals. I am still happy with 1.4 pounds lost, don’t get me wrong, but it could have been better. I had to work out a lot this week to earn that change because I am still struggling with those couple days of weakness.

So let’s talk about my exercise successes this week. I have slowed my runs to 1 per week. I don’t want to hurt myself, especially because I want to sign up for a couple of fall races. On Friday I did the next run on my app. I know I am slow and am not a natural runner, but I am proud of this. The last run intervals were a warmup, 5 min run, 2 min walk, 8 min run, 3 min walk, 5 min run, cool down. This one increased to warm up, 10 min run, 3 min walk, 10 min run, cool down. I design my runs to be around 3 miles. This usually means that when I am done with my app’s running segments, I have .75-1 mile left which I interval with some different speeds.

To be honest, the 10 min segments scared me. I am in my head about my ankle pain and just my general ability. So I am really proud of myself that I did it! And I am even more proud because I was not feeling it. I didn’t hurt, but my body was just tired, uncomfortable, and all around not wanting a run. You know how somedays you are just on it? Like, you feel like you woke up to kick ass? I love working out on those days. Friday was the exact opposite, and yet I still pushed through.

I also pushed myself on the bike this week. I did 2-45 min rides, 2-30 min, and a 20 min climb paired with a 15 min Low impact. This rewarded me with faster recoveries, and a lower heart rate during less intensive rides. I have been exercising in the past few weeks, but have not exercised to the point of making me proud of myself. This week, I was proud of myself. Not for the volume, per say, but I felt like I was treating myself right. On top of this I continue to feel stronger and my thighs… damn.

There were definitely some days where I did not get my walks in. It was ridiculously hot and humid, so that made getting outside for them a tougher. This week should be a bit more reasonable for temps, so hopefully I can get out and stop making excuses.

On a different note, I am currently reading two very different books, but both are perfect for my betterment journey. First I am reading Grit but Angela Duckworth. My sister sent me this one and I am slowly getting through it (Toddlers don’t want me to read). But it is perfect reading for me when I think and talk about consistency and perseverance. I am also reading Between the World and Me by Ta-Nehisi Coates. This I just started the other day, but was recommended to me as I am trying to better understand how I can be an ally to POC and become more anti-racist. So far, seeing through the eyes of the author has been enlightening, humbling, and saddening. I can say the life I have grown into is remarkably different, for few reasons of my own. I hope to speak on both of them more in the future when I have gotten farther along.

Did you have any victories this week? Please tell me! Also, is there a good book that is speaking to you right now?

Please leave a like or a comment!

How did I do on last weeks action plan?:

5 Cardio workouts. 1 45 min ride, 1 HIIT Ride, 1 Low Impact ride, 2 runs. Exceeded. 6 rides and 1 run
2 Strength Sessions (Tues/Sat) Partially Attained. 1 Session
Plan out my meals, stick to them, and portion snacks. Partially Attained.
2 additional outdoor activities. This can include walks with my daughter, disc golfing, skiing, etc. Attained
3 dedicated stretch sessions. 2 10-min lower body and 1 10 min full body (Mon/Wed/Fri). Not Attained
20-30 minute midday walk on work days. Not Attained
Track every bite. Attained
Drink 10 glasses of water per day. Attained
Find some quiet time to calm my thoughts and mind. 2 5-10 minute sessions. Attained

Action Plan

5 Cardio workouts. 1 45 min ride, 1 HIIT Ride, 1 Low Impact ride, 1 misc ride, 1 run.
2 Strength Sessions (Tues/Sat)
Plan out my meals, stick to them, and portion snacks
2 additional outdoor activities. This can include walks with my daughter, disc golfing, skiing, etc
3 dedicated stretch sessions. 2 10-min lower body and 1 10 min full body (Mon/Wed/Fri)
20-30 minute midday walk on work days
Track every bite
Drink 10 glasses of water per day
Find some quiet time to calm my thoughts and mind. 2 5-10 minute sessions

Date	Change in Weight
12/1*	–
12/2*	-5.4 lbs
12/9	-5.4 lbs
12/16	-3.4 lbs
12/23	+2.8 lbs
12/29	-1.2 lbs
1/6	-1.4 lbs
1/13	-1.6 lbs
1/20	-1.4 lbs
1/27	+0.4 lbs
2/3	-1.2 lbs
2/10	-4.6 lbs
2/17	+0.4 lbs
2/24	-1.6 lbs
3/2	-3.2 lbs
3/9	+1.8 lbs
3/16	-3.2 lbs
3/23	-0.6 lbs
3/30	+0.4 lbs
4/6	-1.6 lbs
4/13	+0.8 lbs
4/20	-1.8 lbs
4/27	0 lbs
5/4	+2.4 lbs
5/11	-5.2 lbs
5/18	0 lbs
5/25	-1.0 lbs
6/1	-1.2 lbs
6/8	-0.4 lbs
6/15	-0.8 lbs
6/22	+0.8 lbs
6/29	-1.4 lbs

* I first weighed myself on a Sunday night and began the regular weigh-ins the following morning

-Ben

Posted on June 22, 2020 by Ben Crosby

comfort and weekly reflections: 6/16 – 6/22

Got on the water this weekend. It was a nice escape.

Change in weight (6/16/20 –6/22/20): +0.8 LBS

I experienced a pretty special thing after my last blog post, I got a lot of feedback. It was not online but through personal reach-outs and it was people checking to make sure I was okay. That was really something.

I talked about being angry and frustrated. I was maybe a bit more honest than I normally am. I am trying to tow this balance between being real and honest with you, but not to cross a line. In hindsight, I may have flirted with that line and did not make it clear I was expressing feelings, but am okay. But the outcome of that last post was awesome. It helped remind me of the loved ones in my life who may have read into it deeper than I meant. It made me realize that there are those who don’t just look, but also think. They think about what I say and how that my words compare to the Ben they know. That really shows how much people care even when you just are stuck in your own head. It provided a lot of comfort and really turned my mood around for the week.

I had a good week!

Sometimes all we need is a reminder that there are those who care about us. Sometimes we need a reminder that those who care for us, pay attention to us. I would encourage us all to make sure we let those we care for know we pay attention and want to know how they are. Especially today with all going on, let someone know they are known.

…

As you can see I gained back my progress from the week prior. I had an up and down week and am a bit frustrated by this result, but I know what I need to do to get back. The 300 pound goal by July 4th I set a few weeks ago may seem unattainable, if keeping with a sustainable pace, but I want to get as close as I can. It is worth noting that my workouts continue to improve. My interval run trainings are getting better, I have PR’d numerous peloton rides recently, and I am feeling stronger. I will not let this hiccup of a week distract me from the fact that I am still improving.

Father’s day weekend brought much fun, family, laughter, and food. This was a part of the week I knew was coming, but did not adjust my full week’s intake to account for the over-indulgences that happened. Despite this, I feel it is worth taking a moment to share some feelings and thankfulness that the weekend showed me. I am thankful that I have the privilege of being a dad. I am thankful for my dad, his dad, and the dads around me for helping to mold me into the father I am. I am not without fault, but am full of a desire to be better. It still feels weird that father’s day applies to me now. I still do not feel ‘adult’ enough, but here we are. I am humbled. I wish a late happy father’s day to all the dads out there. If you have a child or act as a father figure to somebody, you are deserving of praise. It is not easy, but still you do it.

Do you need to check in with anybody? How are you doing with your goals right now? Anything worth noting that you are thankful for?

Please leave a like or a comment!

How did I do on last weeks action plan?:

5 Cardio workouts. 1 45 min ride, 1 HIIT Ride, 1 Low Impact ride, 2 runs. Partially attained. 4 rides and 1 run
2 Strength Sessions (Tues/Sat) Partially Attained. 1 Session
Plan out my meals, stick to them, and portion snacks. Partially Attained.
2 additional outdoor activities. This can include walks with my daughter, disc golfing, skiing, etc. Attained
3 dedicated stretch sessions. 2 10-min lower body and 1 10 min full body (Mon/Wed/Fri). Attained
20-30 minute midday walk on work days. Not Attained
Track every bite. Attained
Drink 10 glasses of water per day. Attained
Find some quiet time to calm my thoughts and mind. 2 5-10 minute sessions. Attained

Action Plan

5 Cardio workouts. 1 45 min ride, 1 HIIT Ride, 1 Low Impact ride, 2 runs.
2 Strength Sessions (Tues/Sat)
Plan out my meals, stick to them, and portion snacks
2 additional outdoor activities. This can include walks with my daughter, disc golfing, skiing, etc
3 dedicated stretch sessions. 2 10-min lower body and 1 10 min full body (Mon/Wed/Fri)
20-30 minute midday walk on work days
Track every bite
Drink 10 glasses of water per day
Find some quiet time to calm my thoughts and mind. 2 5-10 minute sessions

Date	Change in Weight
12/1*	–
12/2*	-5.4 lbs
12/9	-5.4 lbs
12/16	-3.4 lbs
12/23	+2.8 lbs
12/29	-1.2 lbs
1/6	-1.4 lbs
1/13	-1.6 lbs
1/20	-1.4 lbs
1/27	+0.4 lbs
2/3	-1.2 lbs
2/10	-4.6 lbs
2/17	+0.4 lbs
2/24	-1.6 lbs
3/2	-3.2 lbs
3/9	+1.8 lbs
3/16	-3.2 lbs
3/23	-0.6 lbs
3/30	+0.4 lbs
4/6	-1.6 lbs
4/13	+0.8 lbs
4/20	-1.8 lbs
4/27	0 lbs
5/4	+2.4 lbs
5/11	-5.2 lbs
5/18	0 lbs
5/25	-1.0 lbs
6/1	-1.2 lbs
6/8	-0.4 lbs
6/15	-0.8 lbs
6/22	+0.8 lbs

* I first weighed myself on a Sunday night and began the regular weigh-ins the following morning

-Ben

Posted on June 15, 2020June 17, 2020 by Ben Crosby

anger and weekly reflections: 6/9 – 6/15

Change in weight (6/9/20 –6/15/20): -0.8 LBS

My Monday weigh-in this morning brought a smile to my face. I have failed to reign in my eating the way I would like, so seeing that I lost almost a pound this week made me happy that my commitment to the process, even if not perfect, is still paying off. But I am not going to talk about my weight loss in this post, I need to talk about a different form of health; mental health.

I have no experience in the field of mental health so am speaking only as an observer of myself. I have been angry lately. When I say angry, I mean angry. I’ve been bitter, irritable, pissy, cranky, frustrated, and any other word that can meet the definition. I am not only feeling it, but acting it. My wife and daughter have unfortunately had to witness this. I spend my whole day putting a facade on for work or other people, then I just give in and act like a turd to the ones who love and support me the most. Thank God they love me. Thank God I recognize how lucky I am.

I feel like i’m waking up with the fuze already cut in half. My tolerance for things is depleted by noon, sometimes earlier. I have been spending some time trying to figure out why, but usually am distracted and don’t actually get to the bottom of it. Writing the post is the most I have thought about it so far. What is contributing to such anger? Well there are a multitude of things, but why can I not deal with them as I normally would?

Starting with the selfish, I am frustrated with work. I don’t like it when I cannot see apparent solutions to problems. There is also an element of just feeling overwhelmed. Having the rest of life bleed into you work-life. Emotions are not respecting the line in the sand of work versus non-work. But I have historically been resilient to these types of things, why now is this pushing me over the edge? And on top of it all, my daughter is also acting like a toddler, which comes with its own set of stresses, but that’s parenthood and I can handle that. I am also sick of being home 24/7 and desperately miss loved ones and friends, but that is no excuse either.

Externally, the US is tearing at the seems. We seem to have a government and a populous that has decided to politicize a pandemic, rather than just try to take a pragmatic, smart, and scientific approach to it. We also have populations of POC who are begging us to address our Country’s systematic and historical oppression, and most won’t even take a minute to reflect and ask more. What happened to the humans with a heart who try to feel for others, and try to understand the root causes of issues? This reactionary environment is so damn toxic. I do feel that these are enough to warrant anger, but not enough for me to treat my family the way I have and let it influence my ability to be a good person.

So what am I doing and what should I do to address this? I have been feeling a need to act and to be an ally for POC and minorities. I ordered two books to start reading, to educate myself, and to help remove some of the ignorance I have. Beyond this, I have been listening and considering different ways that I can help. These steps, although most likely not nearly enough, can help me address some of the emotions around the civil unrest. I know it may not remove some anger, but it can help me find a path forward.

On a personal side, I need to take some time off from work. Plain and simple. I need to separate myself from those responsibilities and take a few days to solely focus on my family and the needs surrounding us. I need to get some rest, for my body and for my brain. I need to remember what is good in this world and count my blessings. I need to do some good for people, because giving and loving is medicine for the soul. One thing that has helped a little is working out. It is a set aside time to just sweat, work my butt off, and be alone.

I feel like I am more rambling than anything with this post, but I feel I am not the only one in this boat. I want to say it is okay to be overwhelmed but it is not okay to let it manifest with such negativity in me. I want to give myself a break but also feel that with the world where it is, why should I take a break if others cannot? I am hoping to work on the things above a bit this coming week and will check back in next week on how it is going.

Is anybody else just off? Angry, tired, overworked, feeling helpless? Do you feel you are taking it out on others? What are you doing to work on it? Does it help to talk through it or to be quiet and think on it?

Please leave a like or a comment!

How did I do on last weeks action plan?:

5 Cardio workouts. 1 45 min ride, 1 HIIT Ride, 1 Low Impact ride, 2 runs. Partially attained. 5 rides and 1 run
2 Strength Sessions (Tues/Sat) Not Attained
Plan out my meals, stick to them, and portion snacks. Partially Attained. Too much takeout
2 additional outdoor activities. This can include walks with my daughter, disc golfing, skiing, etc. Attained
3 dedicated stretch sessions. 2 10-min lower body and 1 10 min full body (Mon/Wed/Fri). Attained
20-30 minute midday walk on work days. Attained
Track every bite. Attained
Drink 10 glasses of water per day. Attained
Find some quiet time to calm my thoughts and mind. 2 5-10 minute sessions. Attained

Action Plan

5 Cardio workouts. 1 45 min ride, 1 HIIT Ride, 1 Low Impact ride, 2 runs.
2 Strength Sessions (Tues/Sat)
Plan out my meals, stick to them, and portion snacks
2 additional outdoor activities. This can include walks with my daughter, disc golfing, skiing, etc
3 dedicated stretch sessions. 2 10-min lower body and 1 10 min full body (Mon/Wed/Fri)
20-30 minute midday walk on work days
Track every bite
Drink 10 glasses of water per day
Find some quiet time to calm my thoughts and mind. 2 5-10 minute sessions

Date	Change in Weight
12/1*	–
12/2*	-5.4 lbs
12/9	-5.4 lbs
12/16	-3.4 lbs
12/23	+2.8 lbs
12/29	-1.2 lbs
1/6	-1.4 lbs
1/13	-1.6 lbs
1/20	-1.4 lbs
1/27	+0.4 lbs
2/3	-1.2 lbs
2/10	-4.6 lbs
2/17	+0.4 lbs
2/24	-1.6 lbs
3/2	-3.2 lbs
3/9	+1.8 lbs
3/16	-3.2 lbs
3/23	-0.6 lbs
3/30	+0.4 lbs
4/6	-1.6 lbs
4/13	+0.8 lbs
4/20	-1.8 lbs
4/27	0 lbs
5/4	+2.4 lbs
5/11	-5.2 lbs
5/18	0 lbs
5/25	-1.0 lbs
6/1	-1.2 lbs
6/8	-0.4 lbs
6/15	-0.8 lbs

* I first weighed myself on a Sunday night and began the regular weigh-ins the following morning

-Ben

Posted on June 8, 2020 by Ben Crosby · 3 Comments

a serious note on current events and weekly reflections: 6/2/20 – 6/8/20

Starting with a serious note:

I have been emotionally struggling with what is going on in the US right now. I grew up in a bubble of suburban and rural New England. The types of racial tensions that exist here can pale in comparison to what people experience in other parts of the country and that can give me, as a white male, a sense that I am not part of the problem. What I am grappling with, is that you can be a good, even great person, yet that doesn’t mean that we do not fail at ‘not being racist’. This is because racism goes far beyond (and can be far more subtle) than the evil and drama of the KKK or open hatred of other skin tones. I have walked down the street in Boston and without consciously meaning to, assumed different precautions based on the dress or color of somebody near me. That right there suggests that deep inside of me I am using race as a primary determinant of a trait of an individual… which is part of the textbook definition of racism! “WHAT, ME!?!?!” I am realizing that the classic Ben has been a good person, but has also allowed these issues to continue. So how do I better myself through this betterment journey and how do I change so that new Ben is more aware and more of a force for good?

I am starting to get it. I can, despite my faults, be anti-racist and do my best to get better. Part of this involves educating myself more on what is happening today and what has happened historically to bring us to this point. How can I change to be a better ally to those who need allies? How can I raise my daughter to be the same? How can I support such a necessary cause, and not just let this continue on? I do not have all the answers to all of these, but I am trying and I am listening to the voices that need to be heard. Can I try to start with simple loving conversations with those I know? Maybe a new avenue will open up from there. I am confident that although initial education of myself may not change what is happening on the street, it will inform and influence my decision-making far into the future.

Please do not mistake this for me looking for praise or forgiveness, or for talking politics. I am talking about humanity. I am talking about how I do not want to live in a country where we accept such overt abuse of our fellow citizens. This is me starting another part of my betterment journey, to be a better neighbor, dad, and citizen. To be a better ally for my brothers and sisters who were created in the image and likeness of God, just like me. I would like us all to consider that the movement going on right now in this country is not to personally attack you, but to get us all to take a moment and reconsider what progress we think we have made, and act to continue towards progress. The Civil War was not enough. Ending Jim Crow was not enough. MLK Jr. and Malcom X were not enough. The Civil Rights movement was not enough. Ending credit and geographic redlining is not enough. And sitting on the sidelines is not enough.

Thank you for listening to me. Just because below is a classic weekly update, does not mean that the above hasn’t consumed my mind and thoughts. I broke them out because I do not have the literary skills to give each the proper gravity if talking about both together.

Now reflecting on my week:

Change in weight (6/2/20 –6/8/20): -0.4 LBS

I woke up this morning in a mood. I felt like crap, I was in a fog, and I looked horrible. I sat down in my chair to log into work (I usually boot up before I do my morning weigh-in) and had a moment where I did not know if I could function today and if I should just call in ‘sick’. Well I stepped on the scale and saw that I have lost another 0.4 pounds. This didn’t even please me. I was muttering about how it should have been more and “why didn’t you do this?” or “why didn’t you do that?” I was a mess. I realized I just need to take a shower, shave, and maybe getting cleaned up will help.

Sometimes you just need to clean up. I left the shower feeling great and the shave made me feel like a new man. Now I can say I’m happy with my continued weight loss. Even though this week’s drop was small, it was still a drop. I need to remember to celebrate my effort and cherish the victories, not matter how trivial they may seem.

I listened to my body this week. I have been doing 3 runs per week for about 3-4 weeks now and until this week I have been feeling pretty good. But during my last run, I had to stop because the pain in my ankle was significant. I need to remember that it is one thing to push through fatigue to get stronger, but pushing through pain risks hurting yourself and setting you back on your goals. My plan is decrease to 2 runs per week, allowing at least two days in between, and I will continue the low impact Peloton rides to keep my cardio progress going.

I did hit another PR on the Peloton the other night! I again did the Greatest Showman ride by Robin, which I have coined my PR ride, and I kicked ass. It also helped that my good friend just got a bike so we did the ride together. My calves started cramping with about 90 seconds left and I am screaming “noooo” in my head because my daughter was asleep in the room next to me, so I had to be quiet! But I was able to get through and felt super happy,.. and breathless.

Sorry for the image quality, I haven’t been working on my food photography skills

My favorite (and healthy) meal of the week was a last minute, throw it together meal. We had Tempeh, sweet peppers, and broccoli. I ended up tossing together a stir fry with some Trader Joe’s Soyaki sauce and boom! It was fantastic. I must admit, this meat lover does dig himself some tempeh. I will say that one struggle I need to fix is my giving up on cooking when I am sick of it. I just say “screw it” and order food. This continues to be a struggle of mine.

I am 6.8 pounds away from 300. I want to drop below 300 by July 4th. This would be a huge step for me when looking at the lifelong struggle I have had with weight.

What is your favorite ‘quick hits meal?’ I need more ideas. My sister sent me a few the other day, but I need a treasure trove of quick, easy meals. Do you have any advice for me with running?

Please leave a like or a comment!

How did I do on last weeks action plan?:

6 Cardio workouts. 1 45 min ride, 1 HIIT Ride, 1 Low Impact ride, 3 runs (Mon/Wed/Fri). Partially attained. Only did 2 runs
2 Strength Sessions (Tues/Sat). Not Attained
Plan out my meals, stick to them, and portion snacks. Partial – Too much take out
2 additional outdoor activities. This can include walks with my daughter, disc golfing, skiing, etc Attained
3 dedicated stretch sessions. 2 10-min lower body and 1 10 min full body (Mon/Wed/Fri) Attained
20-30 minute midday walk on work days Attained
Track every bite Attained
Drink 10 glasses of water per day Attained
Find some quiet time to calm my thoughts and mind. 2 5-10 minute sessions Attained

Action Plan

5 Cardio workouts. 1 45 min ride, 1 HIIT Ride, 1 Low Impact ride, 2 runs (Mon/Wed/Fri).
2 Strength Sessions (Tues/Sat)
Plan out my meals, stick to them, and portion snacks
2 additional outdoor activities. This can include walks with my daughter, disc golfing, skiing, etc
3 dedicated stretch sessions. 2 10-min lower body and 1 10 min full body (Mon/Wed/Fri)
20-30 minute midday walk on work days
Track every bite
Drink 10 glasses of water per day
Find some quiet time to calm my thoughts and mind. 2 5-10 minute sessions

Date	Change in Weight
12/1*	–
12/2*	-5.4 lbs
12/9	-5.4 lbs
12/16	-3.4 lbs
12/23	+2.8 lbs
12/29	-1.2 lbs
1/6	-1.4 lbs
1/13	-1.6 lbs
1/20	-1.4 lbs
1/27	+0.4 lbs
2/3	-1.2 lbs
2/10	-4.6 lbs
2/17	+0.4 lbs
2/24	-1.6 lbs
3/2	-3.2 lbs
3/9	+1.8 lbs
3/16	-3.2 lbs
3/23	-0.6 lbs
3/30	+0.4 lbs
4/6	-1.6 lbs
4/13	+0.8 lbs
4/20	-1.8 lbs
4/27	0 lbs
5/4	+2.4 lbs
5/11	-5.2 lbs
5/18	0 lbs
5/25	-1.0 lbs
6/1	-1.2 lbs
6/8	-0.4 lbs

* I first weighed myself on a Sunday night and began the regular weigh-ins the following morning

-Ben

Posted on June 1, 2020June 14, 2020 by Ben Crosby · 1 Comment

36 in 6: weekly reflections: 5/26 – 6/1

Sure this run was from this morning, but it felt good.

My change from last week –

Change in weight (5/26/20 –6/1/20): -1.2 LBS

Today marks 6 months since I began this journey. I am still here and I am still motivated. There is some real pride that comes along with accomplishments like this and I have stuck with it and continue to try. I dropped another 1.2 pounds this week and that brought me to 36 total pounds lost since I began!

Stay tuned for my 6-month recap post to come soon. In that post I will also map out my changes and actually start to share some numbers. I feel I have come to a place where I am comfortable sharing my weight and some of my statistics. It will be good for me, but hopefully it can bring comfort or motivation to somebody else.

Much of this week was punctuated by my body informing me that I need to rest. For the past few weeks, I have kept up a very high pace of exercise and movement. I jumped back into running while trying to keep up my rides and I think that caught up with me. 6 days with 30-60 minutes of intense exercise can require some build up, especially if including the high impact sport of running (and with this body, it is high impact). With this understood, I listened to my body. I still did 2 runs and 2 rides, but I tried to focus a little more on getting my calorie deficit from my intake, less from my exercise. Even last night, I was going through this mental struggle about whether to ride or not and I finally just realized that I would do 30 minutes of stretching and give my body some love. I am thankful for that decision.

I feel that my exercises this week were nothing to write home about. They were good, I accomplished all the running intervals designed in the program and the same with the bike intervals. But no best splits or PRs, which is fine. I also helped my brother-in-law move on Saturday, which I guess could count as an exercise. I did take my tracker off so it wouldn’t get broken with all the heavy garage tools and such, so I guess if it didn’t track… it never happened (just kidding). There were also some good walks with my daughter in the mix. These good walks are the subtle secret to success. You burn more calories than you realize and it doesn’t hurt like running.

This week I am hoping to up my exercise again and continue doing my stretching. We are also trying out some healthy recipes to try and keep the daily meals new and interesting. All this staying at home is making cooking pretty boring. Anyway, thanks for checking in and stay tuned for my 6-month update coming later this week!

Do you have any good recipes you want to share? How are you doing with your current goals?

Please leave a like or a comment!

How did I do on last weeks action plan?:

6 Cardio workouts. 1 45 min ride, 1 HIIT Ride, 1 Low Impact ride, 3 runs (Mon/Wed/Fri). Not attained. 2 rides and 2 runs
2 Strength Sessions (Tues/Sat). Not attained
Plan out my meals, stick to them, and portion snacks. Attained
2 additional outdoor activities. This can include walks with my daughter, disc golfing, skiing, etc. Attained
3 dedicated stretch sessions. 2 10-min lower body and 1 10 min full body (Mon/Wed/Fri). Attained
20-30 minute midday walk on work days. Attained
Track every bite. Attained
Drink 10 glasses of water per day. Attained
Find some quiet time to calm my thoughts and mind. 2 5-10 minute sessions. Attained

This week’s action plan:

6 Cardio workouts. 1 45 min ride, 1 HIIT Ride, 1 Low Impact ride, 3 runs (Mon/Wed/Fri).
2 Strength Sessions (Tues/Sat)
Plan out my meals, stick to them, and portion snacks
2 additional outdoor activities. This can include walks with my daughter, disc golfing, skiing, etc
3 dedicated stretch sessions. 2 10-min lower body and 1 10 min full body (Mon/Wed/Fri)
20-30 minute midday walk on work days
Track every bite
Drink 10 glasses of water per day
Find some quiet time to calm my thoughts and mind. 2 5-10 minute sessions

Date	Change in Weight
12/1*	–
12/2*	-5.4 lbs
12/9	-5.4 lbs
12/16	-3.4 lbs
12/23	+2.8 lbs
12/29	-1.2 lbs
1/6	-1.4 lbs
1/13	-1.6 lbs
1/20	-1.4 lbs
1/27	+0.4 lbs
2/3	-1.2 lbs
2/10	-4.6 lbs
2/17	+0.4 lbs
2/24	-1.6 lbs
3/2	-3.2 lbs
3/9	+1.8 lbs
3/16	-3.2 lbs
3/23	-0.6 lbs
3/30	+0.4 lbs
4/6	-1.6 lbs
4/13	+0.8 lbs
4/20	-1.8 lbs
4/27	0 lbs (no change)
5/4	+2.4 lbs
5/11	-5.2 lbs
5/18	0 lbs
5/25	-1.0 lbs
6/1	-1.2 lbs

* I first weighed myself on a Sunday night and began the regular weigh-ins the following morning

-Ben

Posted on May 25, 2020June 14, 2020 by Ben Crosby · 4 Comments

weekly reflections: 5/18 – 5/25

Got to spend a little time on the water yesterday. That was good for the soul.

My change from last week –

Change in weight (5/18/20 –5/25/20): -1.0 LBS

First of all, I received a tremendous response to my last post about how I have lost 30+ pounds so far. Thank you to everybody. That support helped carry me through the later part of my week, where I usually struggle the most. My drive in the early part of the week stems from the motivation and good feelings from my last weekly update and the end of the week is where work, life, and a lack of desire to cook usually derails me a bit.

I had a really good week with my workouts and fitness goals (outside of again missing my strength workouts). I did my interval run trainings and they felt great. My third of the week had the least ankle pain and the best splits. The weather for running was also perfect, 50s and 60s for most of the week. I also got my rides in and also did an extra ‘recovery’ ride. I have been doing a lot of exercise. This is contributing to both a very tired body and an increased appetite.

This increased appetite, combined with a lack of desire to cook, is what limited my weight loss this week. Don’t get me wrong, I am happy I lost a pound, but I feel I could have lost more had I been more disciplined with my food consumption. There were a couple days of takeout, which included pizza and chinese. These two are where I have trouble limiting how much I eat. There was also some ice cream mixed in…

I am not mad at myself, as I know what I did and was okay with it at the time. I understood these decisions and what they would do to my week when I made them. I do wish I was better at limiting the amount I ate, but we can continue to work on this. I will also note that, unlike when I posted about rage baking and cooking therapy, I have lost my creative drive again and am sick of cooking. I need help finding it again because home cooking is almost always healthier than takeout.

We did have these killer flatbreads for lunch this week.

For the next week I am planning on keeping consistent with my exercise as I did this past week. I know that my body will continue to get stronger and I am very excited for that. My wife and I planned some good looking meals for this week so I hope to lower my caloric intake a bit.

What do you do to maintain your motivation through the whole week? Do you find work and the weekend to throw off your discipline? How do you keep yourself excited with cooking?

Please leave a like or a comment!

Check out the lists below for the full breakdown and let me know if you have any suggestions, feedback, inspiration, or thoughts. Stay safe out there and stay home if you can! I am thankful for all of you.

How did I do on last weeks action plan?:

6 Cardio workouts. 1 45 min ride, 1 HIIT Ride, 1 Low Impact ride, 3 runs (Mon/Wed/Fri). Attained
2 Strength Sessions (Tues/Sat). Not attained
Plan out my meals, stick to them, and portion snacks. Partially attained
2 additional outdoor activities. This can include walks with my daughter, disc golfing, skiing, etc. Attained
3 dedicated stretch sessions. 2 10-min lower body and 1 10 min full body (Mon/Wed/Fri). Attainged
20-30 minute midday walk on work days. Attained
Track every bite. Attained
Drink 10 glasses of water per day. Attained
Find some quiet time to calm my thoughts and mind. 2 5-10 minute sessions. Attained

Action Plan

6 Cardio workouts. 1 45 min ride, 1 HIIT Ride, 1 Low Impact ride, 3 runs (Mon/Wed/Fri).
2 Strength Sessions (Tues/Sat)
Plan out my meals, stick to them, and portion snacks
2 additional outdoor activities. This can include walks with my daughter, disc golfing, skiing, etc
3 dedicated stretch sessions. 2 10-min lower body and 1 10 min full body (Mon/Wed/Fri)
20-30 minute midday walk on work days
Track every bite
Drink 10 glasses of water per day
Find some quiet time to calm my thoughts and mind. 2 5-10 minute sessions

Date	Change in Weight
12/1*	–
12/2*	-5.4 lbs
12/9	-5.4 lbs
12/16	-3.4 lbs
12/23	+2.8 lbs
12/29	-1.2 lbs
1/6	-1.4 lbs
1/13	-1.6 lbs
1/20	-1.4 lbs
1/27	+0.4 lbs
2/3	-1.2 lbs
2/10	-4.6 lbs
2/17	+0.4 lbs
2/24	-1.6 lbs
3/2	-3.2 lbs
3/9	+1.8 lbs
3/16	-3.2 lbs
3/23	-0.6 lbs
3/30	+0.4 lbs
4/6	-1.6 lbs
4/13	+0.8 lbs
4/20	-1.8 lbs
4/27	0 lbs (no change)
5/4	+2.4 lbs
5/11	-5.2 lbs
5/18	0 lbs
5/25	-1.0 lbs

* I first weighed myself on a Sunday night and began the regular weigh-ins the following morning

-Ben

Posted on May 18, 2020June 14, 2020 by Ben Crosby

weekly reflections: 5/12 – 5/18

My change from last week –

Change in weight (5/12/20 –5/18/20): 0 LBS

No change in weight. Zero, nada, nuthin’, zilch. That must mean nothing happened this past week, right? Wrong. A lot happened this last week. A lot of good things and some things that I should work on.

–I really am not upset about a lack of weight loss. I have been able to put the scale in its place and look at this journey holistically. See how I think about weigh-ins from an older post.–

We had salads for dinner last night. I am naive. We had salads from the Cheesecake Factory last night. It was delicious and it was too delicious. How could a bowl full of leafy greens and other tasty bits be so good? Well, because it is a 1200 calorie salad. I will say again, I am naive. It is all good. The salad was delicious and it made me happy. I got a good amount of veggies in and a good amount of other things too, lol.

The salad is almost a metaphor for my past week’s food consumption. A little too much disguised as something just right. My uptick in activity, which I will elaborate on below, has also caused and uptick in my hunger (or perception of hunger). I also may have celebrated my success last Monday by eating too much early in the week. This is a common issue for me, food becomes the prize or award for good behavior. Is this the same for anybody else? I feel it is a big one that needs work. Despite that, overall I had an okay week, but definitely was not as on point as I have been.

As I mentioned last week, adjusting to the more conservative caloric tracking of the Apple watch has been hard, but good. It has made this feel like more of an effort, especially on days where I have cravings, but I do like that it is forcing more discipline from me. This renewed focus on my intake has shown that I still eat too much (or reward myself too much 😩). You can exercise your butt off for 500 calories and one takeout appetizer can blow that out of the water. I have fallen a little too much into the mindset of, if I want to eat more, I will just workout more. But I need to be in the mindset that I cannot solve all cravings by working out more. I still need to step up and be more strict with my intake, along with my increased exercise, if I want to see real and lasting change.

I got back into running this past week. Wow. I forgot how much I actually enjoy running and also noticed how I have gotten used to the zero impact cardio that is my Peloton. My legs were sore but I am practicing the art of discipline and am making sure to give my body the ample time it needs to rest. This means 3 runs a week right now and low impact cardio on the days I do not run. I am setting a couple race goals for the end of the year as milestones. I think these will help continue to push me and also to help things stay mixed up enough so I do not struggle with the occasional monotony of working out.

I again failed to do my full body workouts this week but I did hit my cardio goals, getting all my rides in and my runs. I also finally got all my stretching in!!!! I am very proud of myself for this and it only took how many weeks? The other big thing I am very happy about is I have been making sure to get my general movement in. I have gotten my 10,000 steps every day this week and have made the time for my mid-day walks when working. It may not currently be reflected on my weight loss this week, but it really helps to make me feel better. I feel like I am treating my body right when I commit to moving it.

I have amended my goals for next week to include my new running plan. 3 runs per week and 3 bike sessions per week. I am still setting a goal of 2 strength workouts per week because these only help the running and biking, but have broken that goal out. I hope this might make me more aware of it.

I am feeling good right now. Although the scale did not reflect weight change, I am feeling healthier every day. My resting heart rate has now dipped into the 40s when it used to be in the high 60s/low 70s. My recovery times from workouts are faster and I am constantly feeling like I am in a better physical and emotional place. I tried an old dress shirt on that hasn’t fit in 3+ years and guess what, it fits with room to spare (now if only there was an occasion to wear a dress shirt…). I also keep noticing how strong my legs are… don’t tell me you’ve never admired your own muscles!!!!

How did I do on last weeks action plan?:

6 workouts. 1 45 min ride, 1 HIIT Ride, 2 full body strength (Wednesday evening and Saturday evening), 1 low impact ride, and 1 other of my choice. Partially Attained
Plan out my meals, stick to them, and portion snacks. Partially Attained
2 additional outdoor activities. This can include walks with my daughter, disc golfing, skiing, etc. Attained
3 dedicated stretch sessions. 2 10-min lower body and 1 10 min full body (Monday/Wed/Fri). Attained
20-30 minute midday walk on work days. Attained
Track every bite. Attained
Drink 10 glasses of water per day. Attained
Find some quiet time to calm my thoughts and mind. 2 5-10 minute sessions. Attained

Action Plan

6 Cardio workouts. 1 45 min ride, 1 HIIT Ride, 1 Low Impact ride, 3 runs (Mon/Wed/Fri).
2 Strength Sessions (Tues/Sat)
Plan out my meals, stick to them, and portion snacks
2 additional outdoor activities. This can include walks with my daughter, disc golfing, skiing, etc
3 dedicated stretch sessions. 2 10-min lower body and 1 10 min full body (Mon/Wed/Fri)
20-30 minute midday walk on work days
Track every bite
Drink 10 glasses of water per day
Find some quiet time to calm my thoughts and mind. 2 5-10 minute sessions

Date	Change in Weight
12/1*	–
12/2*	-5.4 lbs
12/9	-5.4 lbs
12/16	-3.4 lbs
12/23	+2.8 lbs
12/29	-1.2 lbs
1/6	-1.4 lbs
1/13	-1.6 lbs
1/20	-1.4 lbs
1/27	+0.4 lbs
2/3	-1.2 lbs
2/10	-4.6 lbs
2/17	+0.4 lbs
2/24	-1.6 lbs
3/2	-3.2 lbs
3/9	+1.8 lbs
3/16	-3.2 lbs
3/23	-0.6 lbs
3/30	+0.4 lbs
4/6	-1.6 lbs
4/13	+0.8 lbs
4/20	-1.8 lbs
4/27	0 lbs (no change)
5/4	+2.4 lbs
5/11	-5.2 lbs
5/18	0 lbs

* I first weighed myself on a Sunday night and began the regular weigh-ins the following morning

-Ben

Posted on May 11, 2020June 14, 2020 by Ben Crosby · 1 Comment

weekly reflections: 5/5 – 5/11

My change from last week –

Change in weight (5/5/20 –5/11/20): -5.2 LBS

Last week I talked about my check-in being a wake-up call. Well I answered it. I am super pumped this morning because I have been feeling really good the past couple of days and when I stepped on the scale this morning, it confirmed those good feelings. I love it when the feelings match reality!

I was pretty nervous about stepping on the scale this morning. Okay, I actually was downright afraid. I was going through my head thinking “I could just say work got busy and I lost track” or “will my blog really be upset if I miss one checkin.” The truth is, it is not about everybody else, but the commitment I made to myself… and cheers to myself for sticking with it. Bonus, I’m stoked for the scale showing me the fruits of my labor! One of my favorite Peloton instructors, Robin, loves to say “Do you want it more than you fear it.” This one is one of those motivational sayings that some might call cheesy, that I until recently would have written off as another filler for a pinterest board, but now it speaks to me when I need it to. I realized that this journey to better is full of fear and constant uncertainty. Is there anything that brings more comfort and less fear than staying with what you know and what is familiar? But branching out to work towards a new goal, well I don’t know how that might go. Fear is an incredible motivator that can keep people from moving and push them in the wrong direction. So do I want this more than I fear it? I keep telling myself yes. Last Monday I told myself yes when I was livid how far I back slid. I told myself yes this weekend when I had numerous opportunities to eat more and wanted to eat more, but I didn’t. I told myself yes when I just got up and got on the scale this morning. Does fear hold any of you back? How do you overcome it?

I have been trying to lock in the drivers of this weeks positive change. I can list a few things that I know contributed. My overall movement increased as I tried to hit my step goal every day, regardless of the weather. I was also more consistent with my workouts and I was drinking more water. I think one of the largest contributors was my intake decreased. I have felt that as I track calories, the calorie adjustments for exercise sometimes seemed large. My wife and I also just got Apple watches as the were $100 off online last week (win!). I have noticed that the Apple watch is more conservative in its allocation of burned calories due to walking. This means that the amount of calories MyFitnessPal tells me I can eat has gone down with similar activity, just by switching my tracking device. I think this is a good thing. As long as I am giving my body what it needs, some more strict calorie control can only help me.

This past week saw a lot of biking, walking, and getting outside. I am trying to stay moving. I was pleased with my performance on the bike, doing a 45 minute HIIT and Hills ride that hurt but felt great to accomplish, along with a few others. I also am pleased with the little things. Trying to take a 15 minute walk here and there or choosing water instead of a beer. The little things add up.

As per usual, I am failing at stretching and getting the amount of full body workouts in I want, so I am still struggling to hone in on why I can be so disciplined with some things, but not with others.

My thought is to leave my goals the same for next week. I did pretty well with them last week and the outcome was great! I would like to log 2-3 weeks with some managable, consistent weight loss. Here we go!

How did I do on last weeks action plan?:

6 workouts. 1 45 min ride, 1 HIIT Ride, 2 full body strength (Wednesday evening and Saturday evening), 1 low impact ride, and 1 other of my choice. Partially attained. I did 6 rides and 1 strength.
Plan out my meals, stick to them, and portion snacks. Attained
2 additional outdoor activities. This can include walks with my daughter, disc golfing, skiing, etc. Attained
3 dedicated stretch sessions. 2 10-min lower body and 1 10 min full body (Monday/Wed/Fri). Not Attained.
20-30 minute midday walk on work days. Attained
Track every bite. Attained
Drink 10 glasses of water per day. Attained
Find some quiet time to calm my thoughts and mind. 2 5-10 minute sessions. Attained

Action Plan

6 workouts. 1 45 min ride, 1 HIIT Ride, 2 full body strength (Wednesday evening and Saturday evening), 1 low impact ride, and 1 other of my choice
Plan out my meals, stick to them, and portion snacks
2 additional outdoor activities. This can include walks with my daughter, disc golfing, skiing, etc
3 dedicated stretch sessions. 2 10-min lower body and 1 10 min full body (Monday/Wed/Fri)
20-30 minute midday walk on work days
Track every bite
Drink 10 glasses of water per day
Find some quiet time to calm my thoughts and mind. 2 5-10 minute sessions

Date	Change in Weight
12/1*	–
12/2*	-5.4 lbs
12/9	-5.4 lbs
12/16	-3.4 lbs
12/23	+2.8 lbs
12/29	-1.2 lbs
1/6	-1.4 lbs
1/13	-1.6 lbs
1/20	-1.4 lbs
1/27	+0.4 lbs
2/3	-1.2 lbs
2/10	-4.6 lbs
2/17	+0.4 lbs
2/24	-1.6 lbs
3/2	-3.2 lbs
3/9	+1.8 lbs
3/16	-3.2 lbs
3/23	-0.6 lbs
3/30	+0.4 lbs
4/6	-1.6 lbs
4/13	+0.8 lbs
4/20	-1.8 lbs
4/27	0 lbs (no change)
5/4	+2.4 lbs
5/11	-5.2 lbs

* I first weighed myself on a Sunday night and began the regular weigh-ins the following morning

-Ben

Posted on May 4, 2020June 14, 2020 by Ben Crosby · 2 Comments

weekly reflections: 4/28 – 5/4

My change from last week –

Change in weight (4/21/20 –4/27/20): +2.4 LBS

This weigh-in is a wake-up call. I have gotten fairly complacent and have taken for granted the relative consistency of my weight decrease. I really thought I had stayed around the same or lost a little weight before I stepped on the scale. I was wrong. I guess you can pull multiple things from that. On one hand it must be good that I am feeling that positive about myself, but on the other hand, it shows that I didn’t really have a good handle on my week if I had a 2-3 pound discrepancy between what I thought and what is actually.

I could write some excuses here and reason out the recent weight gain. The more I think about it, the more I understand where it comes from. My activity, though my walking still needs to increase, is fine. I need to dial in and control my intake. I am eating too much and am eating too much crap. There is too much takeout, too much over eating, too much eating for comfort, and too much eating to manage stress. I could blame the fact that we are in the midst of some home projects, so it is torn apart and cooking is harder. I could blame working full time and taking care of a toddler. I could blame a host of things, but ultimately it comes down to how much I want this and how much I am willing to discipline myself. I need to do better. I need to expect more from myself because I am capable of far better.

Looking back at the week, I did not quite attain the full level of activity I planned, but still did pretty well. I was 1 full body workout short and did not get my 45 minute ride in, but did have some really successful rides this week, with two PRs. I also got out for a hike yesterday, which felt great. It was a real beauty on the South Shore.

I did better about stretching this week too, though I still did not do all I planned… and I did find some quiet time. My mental state this morning is definitely improved from prior weeks. I also have been pounding water lately. I can be super bad about this so I am proud of myself for working to stay hydrated.

I am going to leave my plan for next week the same. I would like to hit it and check off all points. I would like to do a better job about checking in daily on how I am progressing with my weekly plans as I have not been very good at that. I am not writing a super long post this morning because I am annoyed and a bit bummed. I do not want this setback to hamper my motivation and progress, but I definitely am upset today. I would love some encouragement and some reminders to stop being so dramatic.

Anyway, how much do I want this? Do I want it more than the inconvenience of pushing myself, yes. Okay, now I have to do it.

How did I do on last weeks action plan?:

6 workouts. 1 45 min ride, 1 HIIT Ride, 2 full body strength (Wednesday evening and Saturday evening), 1 low impact ride, and 1 other of my choice. Partially attained. 4 rides and 1 full body
Plan out my meals, stick to them, and portion snacks. Not attained
2 additional outdoor activities. This can include walks with my daughter, disc golfing, skiing, etc. Attained
3 dedicated stretch sessions. 2 10-min lower body and 1 10 min full body (Monday/Wed/Fri). Partially Attained. 2 Stretches
20-30 minute midday walk on work days. Partially Attained
Track every bite. Not Attained
Drink 10 glasses of water per day. Attained
Find some quiet time to calm my thoughts and mind. 2 5-10 minute sessions. Attained

Action Plan

6 workouts. 1 45 min ride, 1 HIIT Ride, 2 full body strength (Wednesday evening and Saturday evening), 1 low impact ride, and 1 other of my choice
Plan out my meals, stick to them, and portion snacks
2 additional outdoor activities. This can include walks with my daughter, disc golfing, skiing, etc
3 dedicated stretch sessions. 2 10-min lower body and 1 10 min full body (Monday/Wed/Fri)
20-30 minute midday walk on work days
Track every bite
Drink 10 glasses of water per day
Find some quiet time to calm my thoughts and mind. 2 5-10 minute sessions

Date	Change in Weight
12/1*	–
12/2*	-5.4 lbs
12/9	-5.4 lbs
12/16	-3.4 lbs
12/23	+2.8 lbs
12/29	-1.2 lbs
1/6	-1.4 lbs
1/13	-1.6 lbs
1/20	-1.4 lbs
1/27	+0.4 lbs
2/3	-1.2 lbs
2/10	-4.6 lbs
2/17	+0.4 lbs
2/24	-1.6 lbs
3/2	-3.2 lbs
3/9	+1.8 lbs
3/16	-3.2 lbs
3/23	-0.6 lbs
3/30	+0.4 lbs
4/6	-1.6 lbs
4/13	+0.8 lbs
4/20	-1.8 lbs
4/27	0 lbs (no change)
5/4	+2.4 lbs

* I first weighed myself on a Sunday night and began the regular weigh-ins the following morning

-Ben